Want to be More Present? You’ll need to Understand Your Emotions First.
It’s one of the most sought after states of being.
Our shelves are filled with books explaining how to do it.
Our earbuds are streaming audios to help us find it.
Yoga studios and meditation centers teach you skills so you can attain it.
There’re different roads to Presence, but they all require the same thing:
They require you to feel.
This is presence.
What does this even mean?
What do your feelings have to do with presence?
Your emotions are what determines your experience.
This, right now, is your experience.
When you feel your emotions you align with your experience.
When you don’t feel your emotions, you become separate from your experience.
What you feel and what this is for you is as unique as you are.
You’re most definitely allowed to feel whatever you want.
But do you know how to feel?
Do you know what you do when you experience an emotion?
You can do one of three things:
I’ll explain each of these now.
Resisting an Emotion
This is NOT feeling your emotions.
Resisting emotions is blocking the movement of the emotion in your body.
If you often feel overwhelmed or stressed this is an indicator that you’re resisting other emotions.
Your body is under the stress of a blocked emotion.
Your body is overwhelmed by this blockage.
You think it’s because of your circumstance.
It’s never because of your circumstance:
Your feelings are create by your thoughts.
Your overwhelm and stress are because you have unconscious thoughts that are creating unpleasant emotions (anger, sadness, resentment, etc) and you’re resisting feeling those emotions.
If you use any of these statements this may indicate you’re resisting emotions:
It doesn’t matter anyways
I’ll figure it out
Nothing isn’t Nothing - it’s the absence of something.
When you resist your emotions you resist yourself and your life.
You resist the circumstances in your life.
I had this experience just last week.
I was traveling with my family and we were in a small city.
At home I run for exercise.
I was planning on doing this on our travels and succeeded for the first couple days.
But then I stopped.
I’m used to running in a quiet redwood forest on dirt trails winding up and down under the towering trees.
I am NOT used to running next to traffic, on pavement with lots of people around me.
I was judging the experience.
I was resisting Judgment by not having the experience.
Instead of allowing the discomfort of running in the city I resisted it and didn’t run.
I resisted becoming the person who runs in the city.
I avoided this experience.
Because I wan’t running anymore I had thoughts about what this meant.
I’m going to fall out of shape,
I’m not going to release energy,
I’m not going to grow and explore my edge.
These thoughts created feelings of shame.
I went from resisting judgment to feeling ashamed.
I was judging myself.
Resisting or avoiding emotions keeps it locked in our beings where we project it onto ourselves and others.
We are not Present.
Reacting to Emotion
This is taking action from an unclean place.
You have an unconscious thought creating an unwanted emotion.
Because it’s happening beneath your consciousness, it grows and festers until you can’t resist it any more.
You react to it.
In the past, I would’ve let the shame I felt from the automatic and unconscious thought I had show in my actions.
I would’ve been short tempered with my children, perhaps shaming them.
I may have spent more money than I had planned, eaten more food than I would’ve liked, drank more wine than appropriate.
I would’ve taken actions to prove my Shame.
So many of us believe that reacting to our emotions is feeling them.
This is how we “get through” the emotion.
Instead of feeling our emotions and being present with our experience
We create experiences through our actions to justify our emotions.
We forfeit the present and create an external version of our internal struggle.
Feeling your emotions is allowing them without reacting to them.
It’s how a leaf is carried along by a stream,
or a hawk glides on a current.
Your emotions aren’t something you need to get through.
They’re a vibration you get to allow.
When you allow it, you feel it.
When you feel it, it passes.
Then you are here.
Allowing your emotions is simply letting them move through your body.
This doesn’t require crying, yelling, laughing, falling over or jumping high.
These are actions not emotions.
There is nothing wrong with crying, laughing, yelling. falling over or jumping high.
Just don’t confuse these actions with emotion itself.
They’re your reactions to your emotions.
Allowing emotion requires you not to attach yourself to them.
They’re like your thoughts because they are created from your thoughts.
Emotions are choices you make.
You allow the emotion to know if it serves you.
If it does, you take action from it.
If it doesn’t you simple allow it, feel it and let it move through you.
This goes for positive emotions as well.
If laughter serves you because it connects you with people your conversing with, then reacting to humor serves you.
If you laugh in reaction to someone expressing emotional pain, this may separate you from the people you’re conversing with.
The more you practice allowing your emotions them more conscious you become of the experience you have through them.
This is Consciousness.
This is Presence.