Waiting to Decide: The 3 reasons you're not where you want to be
Two years ago I decided I was a Life Coach.
I didn’t have clients.
I wasn't making money coaching.
I wasn’t certified.
I simply decided I was a Life Coach.
Making decisions is powerful.
But so many of us put off deciding.
Not deciding is still a decision.
Here are 3 reasons why you don’t make decisions and what to do instead:
Reason #1: You believe you need to gather evidence
When faced with decisions you take your time deciding. You need time to gather evidence. You take time to “think about it”.
Every decision requires careful examination, right?
We hold onto the idea that with time we’ll come to the “right” decision.
But time isn’t what makes a decision clear. In fact, it’s making your life unclear because you’re not believing that you actually have the answers.
You always have the answers.
But you’ve forgotten this.
Instead of moving into life, you pull over, get out of the car and ponder.
You believe the answer is “Out There”.
This keeps you stuck. You sit in the in-between. You wait for evidence to make your decision, one way or another.
But Life doesn’t give you the “right” evidence.
It just gives you more of what you already see - Indecision.
Believe you know the answer.
Just for fun.
Start by bringing awareness to the everyday decisions you make easily because you know the answer. Like what time to get up, how much coffee to brew, what time to get your kids out the door.
Notice the feeling you have in your body when you make these decision and the action you take from this feeling.
Next look for “small” decisions to make that you’ve put off because you believe you don’t know the answer.
Decide to believe that you know the answer.
Feel what it’s like to know the answer and make a decision.
We all possess a deep and expansive wisdom that is The Truth.
The Truth of who we are, where we’re going and what our full life experience looks like.
It’s your job to strengthen this superpower.
It always starts with believing
Reason #2: You Believe you’ll make a wrong decision.
What if there was no wrong decision?
What if you can’t avoid mistakes?
That you can’t protect yourself from failure?
We are supposed to experience mishaps.
This is part of the human experience.
It’s amazing how we try to avoid making mistakes, failing or having things go “wrong”.
Life would be so boring. We would never need to grow or learn.
So why are you believing there are wrong decisions?
By making not making the wrong decision your goal you’re making the greatest mistake by failing ahead of time.
You’re not taking action and the result of this is you’re not living your best live.
Believe you can’t make wrong decisions.
This will bring up a lot of thoughts and ideas about regret, disappointment, shame. These are all emotions that are tied up with “doing it wrong”.
Get into it, under it and through it.
Start by examining decisions you’ve made that you believe were wrong.
Notice the story you’re telling yourself.
What have you denied yourself by believing you did it wrong?
What important lessons, experiences, growth are you NOT allowing because it “shouldn’t have happened this way?"
You can’t have one without the other.
You can’t take the growth, the evolution, the learning without the experience.
When you are afraid of making the “wrong decision” what you’re saying is you are afraid to feel emotion.
You’re going to feel emotion.
You WANT to feel emotion.
All of them.
Reason #3: You believe it needs to be perfect.
Taking more time makes a better decision.
Better is often equated with Perfect.
Perfect feels good. It makes us proud. We worked hard.
This is the goal, right?
Perfection steals your worth.
You’re striving for perfection because you don’t think you’re good enough.
You’re good enough.
Perfection pretends to be important.
But it isn’t.
Perfection is scared.
Perfectionists are afraid to fail.
But they fail by not moving forward.
They fail by believing in Perfection.
Perfect for whom? Who decides what “perfect” is?
Believe in good enough.
Notice how you want to make it “perfect”. See yourself at the threshold of completion, and notice the thought that “it could be better”.
Bring awareness to your belief that it isn’t good enough as it is.
How does that thought feel?
Allow the feeling.
Then change your thought.
Here are a few you can try:
“It’s good enough.”
“It’s possible that this is perfect the way it is.”
“This is complete.”
Taking the time to make something “better” is a waste of time.
You can go on to something else with your time.
You can do more good enough then one thing that will never be enough.
Today people know I’m a life coach.
They pay me.
They go through my programs.
I help them change their lives.
But this doesn’t make me a Life Coach.
Deciding I’m a Life Coach made me a Life Coach.
What are you not deciding on?
What’s your next move?