Overwhelmed? 2 Ways Your Perpetuating Your Own Misery and What to do Instead
It’s easy to be oberwhelmed, especially when you’re surrounded by other people who are overwhelmed.
It’s like a troop of soldiers doing nothing but reviewing, assessing and strategizing the battles.
It’s all they do.
There’s nothing else more important when it’s the overwhelming circumstance in your life.
I see this in the cannabis industry.
Most people are overwhelmed - and for good reason.
For many of us, we took on roles and had to learn new skills overnight.
And it hasn’t stopped.
We’re in a constant state of learning and applying what we’re learning to a business that’s been forced into a new, never-before-done industry.
This is the perfect breeding grounds for overwhelm.
But you can stop it.
When we experience an emotion we have 3 choices:
However we’re currently choosing to experience overwhelm is how we’re going to continue to experience overwhelm.
You must consciously shift how you respond to overwhelm in order to end overwhelm.
So, How do YOU do Overwhelm?
This is reacting to your overwhelm
If you vent, you’re compelled to talk about your overwhelm. This lets off the pressure; like the steam building in a pot of boiling water.
So when we have the chance we release the pressure in a stream of words describing our current state of overwhelm,
This feels good.
But it also perpetuates the overwhelm.
When we feel overwhelm and think we need to vent in order for the overwhelm to be less we vent.
This creates a thought / feeling / action loop our brains cling to in order to be efficient.
Remember, our brains are wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain and use the least amount of energy as possible.
When we’re in the habit of venting our brains respond to this by releasing dopamine.
It wants us to stay efficient so it gives us a reward for maintaining this habit.
Dopamine is what lets our brains know we’ve been rewarded.
This is why you feel better after a good vent.
But this is a false sense of pleasure.
Because what is happening when you vent is a you’re strengthening the urge to vent.
Your being rewarded with dopamine each time you do it so the desire to do it becomes stronger.
You know this because you want to stop, but you can’t.
Why would you want to stop venting?
Because it takes up your precious time and energy.
It’s problems based and rarely leads to a viable solution
You think you have problems and will keep creating problems
Ready to stop?
You’ll need to learn how to allow the urge to vent instead of reacting to the emotion of overwhelm.
Allowing the urge is literally telling the toddler in your brain that you’re not going to give it what it wants so you can have a moment of peace.
You’re going to sit with the screaming toddler not in peace for a little while.
After some time, like the toddler, your brain will calm down and go to sleep.
You’ll have overcome the urge - and your overwhelm.
Will it still come up?
But you’ll manage it and move on with more important things.
You can also come up with better ways to connect with others.
If they vent - let them. Just don’t join them.
You can choose to not be around others that vent and surround yourself with people who are solutions focused and working on reaching their goals.
This is avoiding overwhelm.
Buffering is when we avoid an emotion by taking an action.
These actions can look like a lot of things:
When you do any of these things unconsciously as a means of avoiding the discomfort of overwhelm you’re creating net negative results in your life.
You believe your side stepping overwhelm.
But you’re not.
This is a lie you tell yourself wrapped up in excuses that are taking all your time and energy.
And may be taking you off the course you really want to be on.
Avoiding Overwhelm by buffering works like reacting to overwhelm by Venting -
You’re reinforcing a thought / feeling / action loop
But your actions are hiding you from your overwhelm.
Your avoiding this emotions and trading it in for another negative emotion that is the result of repeating any behavior that doesn’t serve you.
What do you do to avoid overwhelm?
What are the results of your unconscious behaviors?
What would your life be like if you didn’t buffer overwhelm?
Why would you want to stop avoiding overwhelm?
To get clear on the actions you take in your life and why so you can choose more deliberately.
To create more time and energy
To notice what thought is causing your overwhelm so you can stop thinking it.
Ready to Stop?
You’ll need to allow the urge to take the actions you were taking when you didn’t allow overwhelm.
You’ll need to be onto yourself.
Ask yourself what actions you take that you want to stop doing.
You know what they are.
You’ll need to give yourself permission to sit in overwhelm and learn how to feel it.
You’ll notice everything else you’d rather be doing instead of feeling overwhelmed.
Remember - Your brain is wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain and use the least amount of energy possible.
Your brain will have the urgency to not feel overwhelm because it’s been rewarded with external pleasure each time to take certain actions to avoid overwhelm.
You’re going to be uncomfortable for a little while.
That’s ok thought.
If you can allow any emotion you can do anything.
This is feeling overwhelm.
identifying as overwhelmed
thinking overwhelming thoughts
reacting or avoiding overwhelm
It’s simply allowing the vibration of overwhelm to move through your body.
The more you can allow overwhelm and let it move thorough you, the less intense it is.
In fact, what you’ll find is it’s not even a problem.
The Problem was how you weren’t allowing overwhelm before.
Reacting and avoiding overwhelm was your problem.
You can allow overwhelm and not attach to it.
You don’t feel the urge to speak about it.
You don’t feel the desire to smother it with another action.
You go about your big ass work in the world, allowing overwhelm, and don’t miss a beat.
Why would you want to start Allowing Overwhelm?
Overwhelm can’t exist where there isn’t resistance
Overwhelmed is part of the human experience. You want to feel it so your ability to feel peace and space can also grow
You’re capacity will grow exponentially when you’re not fighting against overwhelm
Ready to Start?
If you’re an entrepreneur in this new cannabis industry and can’t shake the overwhelm
I can help.
I’m facilitating a workshop on 4/13/19 at the Inn at 2nd and C in Eureka from 10 - 4.
I love believing in you.