Being Sensitive: How Many Of Us Are Doing It Wrong
I can feel what other people feel.
I spent 10 years as a massage therapist and what made me so good (well, one of the things) was my ability to feel what my clients were experiencing. Their stiffness, pain, tension - I knew where it originated because I felt it in my own body.
It was AWESOME.
In my work I was rarely “drained”.
In fact, where other therapists mentioned the work being taxing, I felt energized.
I knew I was doing something right.
But until recently, I wasn’t sure what.
Now I know.
I wasn’t feeling their sensations in my body. I was listening to them and noticing the thoughts they had that created their emotions. I followed their emotions into the actions they took in their lives and saw the results on my table.
I was able to create my own parallel experience by borrowing their thoughts and generating the emotions for myself.
I understood their behaviors from this place. I noticed the results of physical discomfort in my own body when I tracked it this way.
It worked AMAZINGLY well.
THIS is being sensitive.
Sensitive is defined as: having acute mental or emotional sensibility; aware of and responsive to the feelings of others.
Being sensitive isn’t dangerous. It doesn’t mean your vulnerable to other people’s energy. It doesn’t mean you need to “protect” yourself.
Other peoples energy doesn’t hurt you.
Your thoughts about other people and their energy hurts you.
When you feel what someone else is feeling they aren’t putting their feelings onto you.
You’re simply aware of the thought patterns that are creating their emotions. You’re borrowing those thoughts - because you’re empathetic - and creating your own emotions.
Empathetic is defines as: of, relating to, or characterized by empathy, the psychological identification with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others:
This difference is very important to know.
Especially because of what I’m going to say next:
When you experience an emotion and believe it’s someone else’s emotion and you make them responsible for how you feel it’s not because you’re sensitive.
It’s because you’re Reactive.
You’re missing the link: You’re having a thought that creates your emotion.
And because you’re not taking responsibility for this you think the emotion is happening to you, without your consent.
You don’t like how you feel and instead of allowing it - and noticing the thought creating it - you react to it by blaming someone else for it.
I used to do this too.
That some people had “bad energy”
They were “poison”
That I had to avoid these people because of how they would make me feel with their energy.
I was coming from Fear thinking I would be the victim of “bad vibes”.
I was reacting to my own emotions created by the thoughts I was having about the person and projecting it back onto them.
Imagine standing in a line at the grocery checkout and you’re behind a person wearing tattered clothing. They smell strong (not in a good way) and they’re talking to themselves using brash language.
You are going to have thoughts about them.
What are they?
How do these thoughts make you feel?
The way you’re feeling is because of what you’re thinking.
This person isn’t putting off bad vibes.
They’re simply Being.
You’re creating your own bad vibes with your thinking.
But instead of taking responsibility for this, we make them responsible for how we feel.
This reinforces our beliefs about certain people in the world and how we relate to them.
In other words, how we’re not being sensitive.
When I realized that it’s my thoughts that create my emotions and that emotions are the vibration I feel in my body it changed how I interacted in the world.
My sensitivity was strengthened.
I reacted less.
This is what I remembered:
Our vibrations (the emotions we feel in our bodies) has a signature that others recognize and when they empathize with it; the same vibration is created in their body.
This doesn’t happen without a thought first.
I became more aware of my own unconscious thinking and the immediate creation of an emotion.
THIS empowered me and gave me the SPACE to be Sensitive - to another person’s experience - if I chose to.
Today, because I’ve noticed each and every day how my thoughts are creating my emotions, I am full of the emotions I want to experience and take 100% responsibility for them.
There isn’t room for another person’s emotions in my being.
It isn’t possible - because I no longer believe it’s possible.
If you’ve been labeling yourself as Sensitive and it doesn’t feel good, I’m here to tell you it’s because you’ve been misusing the Label.
You also have the potential for Sensitivity, but until you take full responsibility for how you feel and bring awareness to your thinking, your Sensitivity will be overshadowed by your reactive tendencies.
If you’re ready to change this I can help.
I’m a Personal Transformation Coach for Spiritual Entrepreneurs, Leaders and Powerhouses.
I teach you how to be in THIS human experience so you can do your Big Work in the world.
Go HERE to get started.