Why Your Goal Should Make You Squirm
If you google how to set a goal you’ll find a lot of really good information.
How to Dream, Believe, Plan, Take Action….
It’s all important stuff.
But one recommendation I keep seeing is that you want to set an attainable goal. And the reason for this is so you don’t fail and loose confidence; which would cause you to quit on your goal.
I couldn’t disagree more.
In every situation I’ve been in where I had to step up and do something I felt I wasn’t prepared for - in other words, something I didn’t plan on doing because I did feel confident - I ALWAYS learned that I am way more capable than I think I am.
Even when I fail, I learn something about myself I didn’t know before.
The awareness is so valuable.
The confidence I get from this awareness helps me move forward..
The most recent example I’ll use is when my husband, a cannabis farmer, pulled out of our family trip because his work load was too great and he couldn’t wrap his mind around going.
I NEVER would plan to take our 3 kids by myself on any trip, but here I was in that exact situation. I didn’t feel confident, I didn’t plan it this way, the goal was to have family time together away from the farm and this apparently wasn’t going to happen.
But I saw an opportunity.
Because I practice setting bigger goals - goals that I don’t quite believe going into them I can accomplish - I am primed to expand my capacity at any time.
When you test and stretch your capacity you become more capable. When you become more capable you build confidence. When you build your confidence you want to stretch your capacity more.
You have to step into what doesn’t feel attainable so you can become more confident.
This doesn’t require that you succeed every step of the way.
Confidence is born from risking failure. And when you take the risk, whether you succeed or fail, you’ll be more confident because you DID IT.
When you try something and fail, you realize failing is just a thought..
What if failing was also learning? What if failing was exactly what you’re supposed to do?
You always learn and what you learn is EXACTLY what you need to learn to keep moving forward and trying.
We fail our way to success.
I had a goal of having time together away from the farm, which felt attainable when I set it. But it turns out it wasn’t. Obviously, because it didn’t happen - at least not in the way I imagined.
But when I looked at the circumstances more carefully I saw I indeed still could have family time away from the farm, it just wouldn’t include my Partner.
The kids and I could have family time.
This became my new goal that was already happening - I just needed to step into it. I would have never chosen it, but here I was facing what I didn’t feel capable of doing.
I was willing to fail.
I was willing to feel overwhelmed, stress out, impatient, scared - all of it. Because I knew I would discover I was more capable in ways I didn’t know. THIS was an opportunity to build my capacity.
We ended up having an amazing time.
Did I experience negative emotion? Yes!
Was it hard to be the only parent to three young children away from home? Absolutely!
Did I surprise myself with my creativity, resilience and energy? I DID!
I DEFINITELY learned that I am WAY more capable than I think I am. My capacity grew and I am more confident as a result.
So when we’re prompted to set “attainable goals”, which is a goal you believe with certainty you can reach, we’re short changing ourselves.
What if you set impossible goals and then did what ever it took to reach them?
Would you fail?
But how much more would you grow and expand and learn?
What if, because you were willing to fail, you didn’t make it mean anything about you and your capabilities.
What if because you had the willingness to see what you’re actually capable of, this failure built your confidence?
What if you actually went so much further than if you set a more comfortable, attainable goal?
Sure, you may not reach your ”impossible” goal at first, but you will be so much closer than if you didn’t set the goal.
Reach further than you think you can go - and you’ll go further.
Set bigger goals.
Nothing has gone wrong.
THIS is the path to creating an extraordinary life.
I’m a personal transformation coach for spirit driven entrepreneurs, leaders and powerhouse individuals. I help you get out of your own way so you can live your greatest desires.
I have a 12 week goal creation program where I guide you into realizing your biggest goals by overcoming your strongest beliefs.
If you’re interested in learning more go HERE.