Why My Brownies Didn't Make The Bake Sale
The best way to be productive is to Manage your mind
What do you see in your life? What are your RESULTS?
What you see is directly affected by what you do, how you feel and WHAT you Think.
Last week my Daughter’s 3rd grade class had a fundraising dinner for Back to School night. They asked for volunteers to help out with the dinner and to bring desserts.
It was all happening the night before I left early in the morning on a 4 day trip alone.
My thought was: “I should volunteer”
I told the teacher I’d bring brownies.
On the Sunday before the dinner I was in Costco with my family. All of us. Husband included.
I was pushing the cart passed 20 pound bags of flour and sugar and I saw it: The Big Box of Ghiradelli brownie mix.
“I’m going to get this for the bake sale,” I said.
“What?” my Husband replied.
“THIS” I said, pointing to the box.
“Oh, I got one of those already.”
“You did?” I questioned.
“Yes” he replied.
“Where is it?” I questioned, again.
“In the pantry.” He said confidently.
I’m in that pantry every day and I haven’t seen it.
But he seemed so SURE. Sometimes, I don’t see things.
“Ok” I said reluctantly putting back the box of mix I’d picked up during this exchange.
Fast forward to Tuesday.
I’m up early making kids lunches, breakfast and gathering things for my day. I look for the BIG BOX of brownie mix I saw at Costco. My husband comes in and I ask him where it is. He reaches up onto the top shelf and pulls out a normal sized box.
“Are you serious?” I asked
He didn’t say anything.
I asked him:
“Did you not see the box of mix I wanted to buy?”
“Or did you think to yourself I didn’t need to make that many brownies and you believed this box would be enough? “
“Did you think you bought that size and now realize you didn’t?”
“I’m not having this conversation”, he said and walked away.
I was fuming.
That afternoon I was at the store (NOT Costco) and bought 3 boxes of brownie mix to mash up with the one I already had (thanks babe.)
I wasn’t going to have time to go home and bake it, but was told I can just come by the school, mix it up there and leave it to bake with the kitchen staff.
I showed up that evening with my Family to enjoy the dinner sponsored by the 3rd grade class. I looked for my brownies, but didn’t see them. There was an abundance of other delicacies though and it seemed that my contribution wasn’t missed.
I went into the kitchen and found the baking sheet of my brownies burned.
I laughed my ass off.
I saw it. I saw right then what my thought I should volunteer resulted in:
I shouldn’t volunteer.
I saw all the “things” that happened on this journey from the moment I thought I should Volunteer to the tray of burned brownies.
“I should buy this brownie mix” = I shouldn’t
“I should figure out why my husband said he bought the brownie mix = I shouldn't
“I should leave the brownie batter in the kitchen for someone else to bake” = I shouldn’t
I didn’t take full responsibility for my decision. And it showed.
No one else is responsible for this result. Not my husband, the kitchen staff, no one.
I chose the thought that created this result.
Should never feels good. It’s obligatory and forced. It’s not in alignment with what we truly want. Even if I wanted to volunteer, believing I should kills any desire to actually help and be in service.
This got in my way of standing in my truth of what I wanted this opportunity to look like and how I was going to fulfill my word.
Whenever I do something I think I should it always gets messy. The “shoulds” follow me through the entire process blocking me from showing up how I actually want to show up.
I wanted to learn from this experience. So I took a good look at it and this is what I noticed I do when I’m “should-ing”:
I make a quick decision to avoid a negative emotion, like guilt or shame
I avoid creating a plan of action because I’m uninspired and feel pressure
I blame others for why it didn’t go as planned abdicating responsibility for my choices and thoughts.
I “should” A LOT less than I used to, but I still do. Because I’m aware of how it shows up (in my results) I can track the thought that created it and work on it.
Do you think in “should’s”?
What are your results?
Do you blame others or think you’re the victim of circumstances?
What would your life look like if you became aware of when you “should”?
Let me tell you - you’d have a lot more energy to do more of what you WANT. You’d have clearer boundaries. You’d take more responsibility and have more power as a result.
If you want to explore what being obligated is doing to your life, let’s chat.
I’m a Personal Transformation Coach for Entrepreneurs. I help you remember what you really want and what is in the way of you having it.
Go HERE to start the conversation.