What I found because I lost my phone
My phone went missing last night.
I had put it on the counter before I sat down to dinner. After dinner I noticed it was gone.
"Norah do you know where my phone is?" I asked my almost 9 year old Daughter.
"No" she replied.
She had gotten up from the table first and was in the kitchen. She knows exactly where I keep my phone and often picks it up in an attempt to watch Netflix.
Norah had stayed home from school yesterday because she "didn't feel good". She'd been saying that for a coupe days and although I knew she wasn't sick, I gave her the day to rest.
That morning I made the 45 minute drive to take the boys to school and got back home on the farm to be with Norah (usually I stay in town to work from my office). I had client calls and took them at home, checking in with Norah who was devouring books on the couch.
She didn't like that I was on the phone.
When my phone disappeared and I couldn't find it any where I immediately had a story about it.
Norah took it. She’s vindictive and totally out of line. I won’t be able to have client calls and the school won’t be able to reach me if something happens with the kids. She must not realize the importance of the phone. She must not think I’m giving her enough attention. I’m not a good Mom. Somethings terribly wrong with her, me and how I use technology.
It published in an instant.
But I didn’t know the story exactly, I just knew how I felt.
In this order, each new emotion building on the one before.
Basically, I felt like shit.
I scoured the house (it’s small so it doesn’t take too long to look in all the places). I looked in the dishwasher (it was running), the freezer, inside boxes of crackers, I was driving myself CRAZY.
I cried. I pleaded. I blamed.
I said to my family,
“I just want to be with people who love and respect me.”
They just stared at me.
My phone was missing and I became Lost.
NOT because my phone was missing though, but because of what I made it mean.
Thankfully I saw what was happening. Because I noticed how I felt, which was completely out of alignment with how I WANT to feel, I was able to find the thoughts creating the feelings.
The thoughts were The Story.
I know that none if it is true.
So what is true? What is FACT?
I can’t find my phone.
What do I want to make it mean?
Well, the Story I was telling was an argument against reality based on the belief that I should be able to find my phone.
But I couldn’t.
Now that I saw the separation I was creating with my thinking I decided to pull it together.
What if it’s possible that I’m not supposed to find my phone?
How does believing this feel?
Nothing has gone wrong.
The world won’t end.
I won’t loose clients.
The kids won’t die at school.
In fact, it’s an awesome opportunity to see what I can do without my phone (even if just for a day)
Now not having my phone doesn’t feel overwhelming. It’s definitely weird (great awareness to have) and I do miss it exactly (this is what my brain says anyway).
I’m noticing the habit of my phone vs. the true necessity of my phone.
I’m grateful to be in this. I wouldn’t have given up my phone on purpose. I struggled with boundaries around it. Now I get to notice THIS experience and LIVE it.
I’m a Life Coach and I have AMAZING tools.
Thank GOODNESS I do because life gives me ample opportunities to loose my shit. Knowing how to manage my mind brings me back to center and allows me to decide WHAT IS REAL.
I’m the truth seeker.
I decide what is and what isn’t.
This is also what I teach my clients.
If you want to start deciding more and reacting less go HERE. We can start with a powerful one hour conversation where I’ll show you what thoughts are in your way from living a better life.